My First Triathlon
So, I’ve noticed that marathons these days are the hip thing. Can I say hip? Or does that make me very un-hip? Either way, marathons and all sorts of endurance-y type things are sort of the ‘thing’ right now. So tonight I decided to jump on the old bandwagon. Yep, tonight at dinner I decided that as soon as we were done I would participate in my first ever triathlon. I mean how hard can it be?
Okay, it wasn’t your “conventional” triathlon, but hey, I don’t like to do things the “conventional” way. I like to think outside the box, march to a different beat, and rock my first triathlon the way I want to. And that’s exactly what I did.
After dinner I threw on my new athletic shoes that don’t look like they should go to space, some basketball shorts, stole the boys iPod and filled it with high energy songs that could keep me going and I was off. First leg of the triathlon was the running. I rounded the corner of my cul-de-sac with the wind in my face. The sun was setting so I knew that if I was going to finish this triathlon I was going to have to hurry. Past one ‘Stop’ sign, then another and another. Nothing could stop me, except that stabbing pain in my side. That stopped me for a second, but then I was back to a slow trot.
After about eight or so neighborhood ‘Stop’ signs I was approaching my friend Michael’s house at a blinding speed. He was out changing a headlight in his car so I stopped to throw up in his bushes help him and steal his bike for the second leg of my triathlon. At this point my legs were jell-o and my lungs were burning so biking would give me a chance to recover for the third and final leg.
I rode past Michael’s house, another ten or so ‘Stop’ signs, and I decided that I needed to push to finish before dark. Around the final cul-de-sac and I was officially half way done and headed back. Repeating my ten or so ‘Stop’ signs and then the original eight or so that I had run making a total of about eighteen more ‘Stop’ sign lengths on the bike, and I was ready for the third and final leg of my first ever triathlon. I came flying into the driveway and parking the bike in the garage. I knew there was only one leg left, but I needed to stop for water, check some emails and catch my breath again.
Then it was time for the third and final push. Now, typically the final portion of a ‘conventional’ triathlon is the swimming portion. You know in a cool comfortable ocean or something. But like I said before, I’m not really in to doing things the ‘conventional’ way, so for my third and final leg of my triathlon, I decided to take a shower. That’s right. Instead of the ‘normal’ splashing around in the water, I decided to step it up a level and stand. And in hot water no less. How you like me now Spence?
Now I’m watching The NBA Finals and barely able to move, but at least I have the sense of accomplishment still pressing firmly on my chest and lungs. I may need a day or two off and then it will be back to training for my next challenge. I might even ride the bike all the way to Target.
His And Hers
So, up to this point in my life my shower experience has been pretty average. You know, soap, shampoo, rinse. Pretty basic right? Well the other day everything changed. See these bad-boys hanging in the shower? I don’t know the ‘real’ name of them. I call them sponges. I know there’s a fancier name but it escapes me. Ether way, this has changed my showering experience. Now, I’m sure all the ‘manly’ guys reading this are looking at this and considering taking away my ‘man card’ or whatever, but that’s alright. Take it. These things are cool.
I don’t even know where these things came from, but now that there are two, I have claimed one as my ‘shower sponge thing’. Now some of you might be wondering, how do you tell the difference? Which is yours and which is not? It’s simple, there’s a girl one and a boy one. The girl one is purple. Duh. What kind of guy would use a purple shower sponge thing?!
Come on guys. Let’s hear it. Who uses one of these things?















































