Generational Sins
My parents divorced when I was three… or four… something like that. I don’t know, I was little. Now that I’m older I know about some of the events that lead up to that divorce. I don’t know all the stories of pain, violence, infidelity, or whatever, but I know that it was a mess. Enough of a mess for it to need to end. And let’s face it, who doesn’t have a mess to some degree in their life? Anyone my age or younger knows the ripple affect of a broken home, abuse, neglect or things like that. Who doesn’t have drama from their upbringing, right?
But here’s where I start getting real passionate. I had a pretty amazing guy step in and take the roll of my dad. To this day he’s one of the closest people to me in my life. Does that mean I don’t have life-long drama from the handful of years that I was alive without him? Nope. Does that mean that I didn’t grow up with the ‘awkwardness’ of having two dads? Nope. Or having to be the decision maker of where I was going to live? Or what last names my wife and kids were going to have? But I’m going to be honest. I had a pretty great upbringing. It was safe, it was healthy, and it was exactly what I needed as a kid and now adult with my own kids.
And here’s the thing. We live in a generation of people looking for any excuse possible to blame their selfish actions on what we’ve conveniently named ‘Generational Sin’. I could blame any of my actions on the broken home that I came from. The dad that wasn’t around, the frustrations of Summer Vacations away from my friends, weirdness of having to explain who that guy is at my graduation. All that. I could sit back and not take ownership of any of it. And that’s exactly what we do right?
“This is what my parents did, so it’s natural.” ”I’m an alcoholic because my dad was.” ”I treat women badly because that’s what I saw growing up. It’s in my blood.” ”I’m a manipulator because my mom cheated.” ”I’ve got a temper that I inherited from my dad.” The list goes on. It’s the easiest out right? We want to blame our selfish, screwed up lives on something biological. It’s something we can’t change. It’s the way we are wired. Really? Let’s take a look. *I’ve added the “bold”*.
Jeremiah 31:29-32 (NIV)
In those days people will no longer say, ‘The fathers have eaten sour grapes, and the children’s teeth are set on edge.’ Instead, everyone will die for his own sin; whoever eats sour grapes–his own teeth will be set on edge. “The time is coming,” declares the Lord, “when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah. It will not be like the covenant I made with their forefathers…”Ezekiel 18:14-16,18-20 (NIV)
“But suppose this son has a son who sees all the sins his father commits, and though he sees them, he does not do such things: He does not eat at the mountain shrines or look to the idols of the house of Israel… He does not oppress anyone… He does not commit robbery, but gives his food to the hungry and provides clothing for the naked… He will not die for his father’s sin; he will surely live. But his father will die for his own sin, because he practiced extortion, robbed his brother and did what was wrong among his people. Yet you ask, ‘Why does the son not share the guilt of his father?’ Since the son has done what is just and right and has been careful to keep all my decrees, he will surely live. The soul who sins is the one who will die. The son will not share the guilt of the father, nor will the father share the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous man will be credited to him, and the wickedness of the wicked will be charged against him.“
Well crap. There goes that theory I guess. Looks like I’m going to have to answer for myself when I treat my kids badly. Looks like it actually is my fault when I selfishly go against what I know is right. Seems like there really is no excuse for living like a jerk.
Okay, that last paragraph was a bit tongue-in-cheek, but you get the idea. So, I want to hear what you guys think. I’ve never really had an open discussion about “Generational Sin” and my opinions on it, with anyone but Kristin. She knows it’s something that has always bothered me, but I don’t know if it’s just me. The thing is, I don’t buy it. I refuse to accept the excuse from anyone that there’s some magical blood running though our bodies that causes us to not be able to control our own selfish actions. It’s not our great-great-great grandfather’s fault that we act the way we do. It’s not the chemical make-up of my DNA that causes me to treat people badly. It’s selfishness and sin. Bottom line. Unless I’m missing something in these verses.
So what do we think? I know it’s a little heavy of a topic, but I’m curious your thoughts.
Ready? Go.
3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th of July Weekend
Bart’s family was in town for the 4th of July. Well actually it was the 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th of July but who’s counting? I don’t think our kids have ever slept less than they did this weekend. We ended up hanging out every night until some ridiculous hour roasting marshmallows, swimming, talking and hoping one of the kids didn’t wander off in the dark.
Since they were staying with MercyMe’s manager, he was kind enough to let us take over his house for a few days, riding four wheelers, more swimming, and blowing up fireworks. The boys loved it. Bart and I ended up having to clean up some of the firework mess, but that just started an awesome sword fight and then we wandered off. You know how it goes.
And here’s the funny thing. This was one of the first times that we got to hang out as families. The kids instantly clicked and could have played all day and all night. Kristin and I were talking about how weird it was that Bart and I have known each other for years, but as families we were just getting to know each other. Weird dynamic, but we had an absolute blast.
Now to talk them into moving here…
What A Week
Dang. It’s been a heck of a week. Over 1,700 miles, meeting up with over 40 friends, 1 wedding, a couple second degree sunburns, and a cracked windshield. I’d call that a success. Well, except for the windshield.
It’s been a long time since we’ve taken a vacation like this. In fact, I don’t know if we’ve ever taken a vacation like this, but it was a good one. We had amazing time in the car, the boys were fantastic, lots of time to talk, listen to music, watch some movies, play some Words With Friends, you know… all the stuff you’re not supposed to do while you’re driving.
Luckily the oil hasn’t made it to any of the beaches we went to, so it was nothing short of perfect water to swim in.
I’m still sorting through all the pictures but here’s a few of my favorites.
The Happiest Place On Earth
Disney World was Wednesday. We spent about twelve hours there and I think by the end we were all pretty worn out. The boys got to see all their favorite characters, go on tons of rides, and eat all sorts of sugar. You know, all the stuff you do at Disney. And this was just the first day.
Sport Parents
Last night Blue played his last basketball game of the season. They lost by about ten points. The other team’s coach screamed the entire time. Running up and down the court, waving his arms, pointing, kicking and stomping. Sort of a joke really, if you ask me. But his team won. Kristin and I sat in the bleachers with a couple other parents from our team surrounded by parents from the other team as they screamed and yelled at how bad the ref was doing, how bad their team was doing (though they were up by ten points) and all sorts of other things. I’m pretty sure my jaw was dropped in dis-belief the entire game.
Maybe this is kids sports. Maybe it’s kids sports in the South. Maybe it’s just that team. Either way, I know that if any of our kids ever end up on a team with that type of coach and those types of parents, we’ll take the season off and go camping.
Anyone run into these parents? I wonder, it’s almost cliche’ to make fun of these parents. How is it that they still exist?
Weekend Getaway
Here’s a few shots from our weekend away. Total we were gone about 36 hours but it was just enough for my phone battery to die and stay that way until we left. It was amazing to get the boys out in the dirt and woods and be, well, boys. Kristin and I rode four wheelers until we were sore and we made a big fire. A perfect way to spend a weekend away from home.
Most likely there will be more pictures and a better story over at Kristin’s blog, but I wanted to get these on here.
Aiden Cole
This little man is five today. Now, I know that every parent out there thinks that their kid is the cutest, smartest, best kid out there, but I’m just here to let you all know, this is actually one of the front runners for the actual cutest, smartest, best kid out there. There isn’t a more sweet, caring five year old I have ever met and I’m glad I get to see this one every day.
Happy Birthday Aiden Cole.
“I’m On A Float”
So, tonight we met up with some friends and went to the Christmas parade in town. Now, I grew up going to small town Christmas parades and there’s still something fun about bundling up grabbing some hot chocolate, blankets and folding chairs and sitting on the sidewalk to watch these folks roll by yelling ‘Merry Christmas’ and waving.
Tonight as we were standing there, and I was watching all the kids lined up waving, smiling and eagerly waiting for the floats that went by tossing candy out to them, and I started thinking about how many ‘rules’ that we work so hard to teach our kids that are being destroyed.
‘Don’t play in the street’, we say. ’Don’t play near moving vehicles’, we say. ’Don’t take candy from strangers’ we say. But this one night, the night of the ’small-town Christmas parade’ all these things are tossed out the window like the candy they are scrambling for.
“Come on kids, lets go out into unhealthy, frigid conditions, and run out into the street as close as you can to a Dodge Ram covered in Christmas lights, and crawl around on the ground looking for candy thrown by some guy dressed as a wise man. Oh yeah, and there really are four Santa Clauses.”
Seriously though, we had a great time. The kids loved it. We came home with full pockets of candy, and are slowly warming back up.
So let’s hear it. Are you a Christmas parade goer?
Cooper Trey
You know those times when something or someone is so cool that you don’t even really believe that it’s real? Like it just seems like a set up or something? Like they are acting? That’s how Cooper is. It is absolutely unreal how funny of a personality this thing has. The things he says, the way he acts. It’s pretty ridiculous to watch. And today he turns three.
We aren’t celebrating until Tuesday when I am home, so he doesn’t really know that today is his ‘beth-day’ but he knows it’s close. He knows there’s some special train track toys and some other stuff waiting for him (because he saw it when we bought it) but he is waiting patiently for us to tell him it’s his day.
So (almost) Happy Birthday Coop. And if you haven’t seen this… You need to.
“Don’t Worry, It Won’t Hurt At All”
Blue has a wart on the bottom of his foot. I’ve never had one so I don’t really know what to do with them but the other day Kristin got some of that stuff that is supposed to freeze them off with no pain or “discomfort”. I mean they sell this stuff over the counter, how bad can it be right?
So, we sit Blue down and tell him that he won’t feel anything and just to hold still so we didn’t get this weird freezing stuff all over the place. Kristin dips this thing into a cartridge thing and pulls out this smoking, giant, Q-Tip looking thing. It wasn’t instant, but about five seconds in to the forty-second process Blue started squirming around and saying that it was ‘hurting real bad’. Now, normally he’s a pretty tough kid when it comes to playing outside with friends, but he’ll have a heart attack if we try to do anything ‘medical’ on him. I think it’s a control thing, but he swears to me that it hurts. So he makes it through the whole forty-second process and is now completely upset at us for putting him through such a procedure. I mean the box says “painless” so it can’t hurt that bad right?
In an attempt to make things fair, I asked Blue if he’d feel better if I did it to myself too. He agreed that I should try it so Kristin did the same process on me, only on the back of my hand and without the wart. Instantly I felt like that scene on Fight Club where Brad Pitt pours acid all over Edward Norton’s hand and makes him stare at it to cope with some inner pain or something. That thing burned like nothing I have ever felt before. I waited the entire forty-seconds and tried to show Blue how brave I was and how it wasn’t really that bad, but also letting him know that I understood the pain that he was talking about…. then I ran to the bathroom crying. No, not really, but that picture above is the result now three days later. Yesterday the blister popped and today it’s just this open sore thing on the back of my hand.
I’m not sure if there’s a moral to this story or not. All I know is my hand is jacked form some painless thing that I’m sure somewhere on the box says “don’t put on normal skin, dummy”. But Blue felt better about things, so I guess it was worth it.
