PORT-AU-PRINCE, HAITI—Less than two weeks after converging upon the site of a devastating magnitude 7.0 earthquake, American anthropologists have confirmed the discovery of a small, poverty-stricken island nation, known to its inhabitants as “Haiti.”

Located just 700 miles off the southeastern coast of Florida, the previously unaccounted-for country is believed to be home to an estimated 10 million people.

Even more astounding, reports now indicate that these people have likely inhabited the impoverished, destitute region—unnoticed by the rest of the world—for more than 300 years.

Researchers believe this was once the capital, though it’s unclear if the Haitian people ever had a truly functional government.

“That an entire civilization has been somehow existing right under our noses for all this time comes as a complete shock,” said University of Florida anthropology professor Dr. Ben Oliver, adding that it appeared as if Haiti’s citizens had been living under dangerous conditions even before the devastating earthquake struck. “Of course, there have been rumors in the past about a long-forgotten Caribbean nation whose people struggle every day to survive, live in constant fear of a corrupt government, and endure such squalor and hunger that they have resorted to eating dirt. But never did we give them much thought.”

Added Oliver, “Had it not been for this earthquake, I doubt we would have ever noticed Haiti at all.”

Though anthropologists said they still did not know much about Haiti’s history, they claimed that, by observing the Haitians’ reactions to this particular disaster, and studying the way the people had come together and taken solace in one another’s sorrows, it appeared as if most of them were accustomed to tragic, even horrific, events.

Researchers also came to the “startling” conclusion that Haiti’s inhabitants must have at some point in their history been exposed to the English language, as many seemed capable of uttering such phrases as “Help us,” and “Please don’t abandon us again.”

“They are normal people just like you and me,” said Harvard University’s Aimee Coughlin, who before last week had never come across any mention of the struggling island republic, whether in conversation, on television, or while scanning the front pages of newspapers. “They communicate with one another, they have families and loved ones, and they value religion. However, judging by the way they are fending for themselves—a position they seem almost resigned to—it’s clear these mysterious Haitian people don’t have much else.”

According to Coughlin, the Haitian civilization was discovered on the night of Jan. 12, when relief workers were rushed to several resorts in the Dominican Republic to see if any American tourists had been injured in the quake. During an aerial tour of the island of Hispaniola, members of the Red Cross noticed signs of human life coming from Haiti.

“When we first landed there, I thought, ‘No person could possibly live here,’” Oliver said. “Not only did the arid landscape look incapable of sustaining any sort of agriculture, but there was absolutely no infrastructure either. Had we known about this desperate, desperate place sooner, perhaps we could have shared some of our technological advancements with them.”

“I’ve vacationed just miles away in beautiful St. Kitts many times,” Oliver added. “Never did anyone say anything about this Haiti place.”

Members of the world community were equally shocked at the discovery of such an impoverished civilization. U.N. representatives noted that Haiti’s location puts it in the direct path of recent natural disasters such as Hurricanes Jeanne, Hanna, and Ike, disasters that probably caused massive flooding, disease, and death.

Likewise, leaders from a number of Western nations announced Tuesday that they were dumbfounded to learn people were still living without decent shelter, hospitals, or regular access to food and water.

“They must have had no way of communicating with the outside world, because had we known about these Haitians, we would have done everything in our power to help them,” U.S. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said. “Of that I have no doubt.”

- The Onion

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Now, obviously I don’t believe that anything going on in Haiti is a joking matter, but this article does speak a little truth in satire don’t you think? Send all hate mail to Chris @ Side3.me

In my opinion there aren’t many more offensive “Christian” t-shirts than this one.  I’ve seen it before and literally thought about it for hours after I saw it for the first time.  As if all of the world’s problems just vanish before our eyes the second we accept Christ.

There’s no more hunger, no more death, no more pain, no more sin, no more struggle and I’ve got the Staples rip-off t-shirt to prove it.

This post is a response to a Tweet with this shirt on it that, at least on my end, originated today from Charlie Lowell then I re-Tweeted it, and so forth.  Here’s what it said along with the picture of the shirt.  “Wow, what a grave insult to anyone who desires to truly follow Christ.” -@cdlowell Now that it’s become sort of a “conversation” I thought I’d bring that conversation here to see what you guy think.

Now, I understand the “idea” behind this ridiculous product, but I’d love for the guy who came up with this to take a trip to any number of third world countries and sit down with a mother and her starving baby and give his ‘pitch’.  Or maybe a part of the world where Christians are forced to sneak around because their faith will get them killed.  Maybe the conversation would go something like this:

“See, there’s this store in America that sells office products and they came up with this commercial.  People that are having a hard time ordering paper can just push this button and then paper shows up in their office and their boss loves them and all their problems go away.  It’s sort of like that but with Jesus…. and you’re the slacker office worker… only you’re child is starving.. or you’ll be shot if someone catches you praying.  But if you accept Jesus all that goes away… except for the part where your kids need food to survive or you’re killed for what you believe.  Get it?  We’ll sell hundreds!!”

Maybe I’m way off, but this shirt has always bothered me.  And I’m sure I’m just scratching the surface of the issues with this shirt but I’d love to know what you think.

Ready?  Go.

We are a skeptical culture. We’re paranoid that we are going to get sick from everything. We are concerned that our kids will die from every sickness. We are worried about viruses that are all around us. And at the same time we are paranoid that the Government is pumping us full of useless, dangerous chemicals. We’re vigilant to not let ‘Big Brother’ take over. We’re naturalists.

So here’s my question. Did you, or are you planning to get the H1N1 vaccination? And your reasoning. Ready? Go.

I have an auto-response on my Twitter.  Most of you know that.  Most of you also have auto-response messages on your Twitter.  And while I think they are a hair cheesy, and I’m accentuating it’s cheesiness but pointing it out, I still have one… and so do you.  Here’s what mine says.

This is a completely automated message, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. www.brodyharper.com

Simple enough right?  I mean, I’m accepting the fact that it’s an automated message.  I’m telling you it’s an automated message and I’m giving you the option to connect with me on a personal level over on my blog.  Seems like a pretty decent situation right?

Well, this morning I woke up to an ‘@ reply’ message from someone apparently offended by my ‘auto-response’.  I will leave off their Twitter name and all that to protect them from further ridicule, but here’s what their @ message said:

@brodyharper: Who the Hell do You think U are DM Me With BS.. Dude B Real Or B Fake… Don’t B sending Me auto DM.. I wanna Hear From You!!!

Goodness.  That seems a little angry, don’t you think?  Now, normally I would just blow something like this off, but I decided to do a little research and at least check out the link that this person has in their bio.  You know, to check out their blog or ‘hear from them’ and the link goes to this place.  The Christian Foundation for Children and Aging.  Seems like a good organization.  I wonder how this person is connected.  Must be through Christ’s love.  Yep, that must be the connection.  I can tell.  I will be honest though, I’m starting to feel a little like Noah, or at least his third verse.

So, there you are Mr. or Mrs. Twitter message person.  Now you’ve ‘heard from me’.  And no this was not an automated message… and it still doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.

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I took this picture a little bit ago while I was watching sound check.  Pretty exciting eh?

We’re in Ft. Worth tonight at a place called Billy Bob’s Texas, which claims to be the ‘World’s Largest Honky Tonk’.  I’m not sure what that means, but I guess I’m about to find out.  Next door to this place is a rodeo arena and there’s something going on in there right now.  I’ve thought about heading in there to see what’s going on, but there’s something about being that out of place that I’m not too fond of.

It’s been a pretty mellow day today.  And at the same time, a pretty mellow weekend all together.  I had dinner with Thad Beaty yesterday and he’s got some really cool stuff going on.  I’m excited that he lives in Nashville and even when we aren’t touring we can hang out and think junk up.  That should be really fun.

I’m ready to be home and exited about some time off.  This will be the last run for about 3 weeks so it will be nice to get off the road and get some things organized at home.  We’ve got some more announcements with SkörInc coming up soon so be looking for that.

Sorry this is such a dull post, but while we’re here and while that picture is up there let’s throw this out.  What are your thoughts on smoking?  I mean we all know it’s bad for you, we all know the effects it may have, but there are plenty of people that still smoke.  So what’s the deal?  Let’s hear it.  This should be fun.

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Matthew 6:
¹“Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.

²“So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ³But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, ⁴so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

⁵“And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ⁶But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

……..

¹⁶“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. ¹⁷But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, ¹⁸so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

I wonder if the ‘hypocrites’ mentioned in these verses had access to the internet, blogging and Twitter how would they be using it?  And would these verses be appropriate for them still?

What are your thoughts?

So, this may offend someone, but I think it’s really funny and needed to blog about it.  I’ve Twittered about it already, but I think something this funny deserves a little more attention.  Swine Flu is officially on Twitter and it couldn’t make me happier.

Now, this isn’t just info about Swine Flu like the actual Swine Flu Twitter account.  No way.  This is the actual Swine Flu Tweeting…. and it’s classic.  Even down to it’s bio.  Brilliant.

Hey…ummmm…I guess I’m here to meet people. Armageddon said this was the place…soooo.

Now, I’m sorry if this offends you and you or your loved ones have been affected by this weird thing floating around our country.  I just spent the last week in Texas and used almost an entire bottle of anti-bacterial stuff. But some of these Tweets are amazing and if you aren’t following, you are truly missing something hilarious.  Check it.

I’ve never felt better. My agent called and compared my exposure to 1918! I mean, come on man! 1918 is the majors. I’m soooo pumped man!

In honor of the place of my birth, I decided to eat Mexican food tonight! Me and Yellow Fever got a great table on the porch. Margaritas!!

Seriously one of the funniest things I have seen in a long time…. as far as the personification of a deadly virus goes.  Spread the word about this account.  Let’s make this thing massive.  It’s too funny to not be.

Follow Swine Flu here.

I bought Kristin a chocolate cross for her Easter basket this year because it made me laugh.  It makes me laugh every year.  This is a cross.  A devise used for no other reason than killing people.  And not just killing people, but killing people in a really bad way.  A tortuous way.  Have you even seen Passion Of The Christ?!  Yet, I suppose if we put some flowers on it, it’s cool right?

Now, before anyone freaks out and say that I hate what the cross symbolizes or anything like that, let me say this.  I am not anti-Easter.  I am not anti-Jesus dying on the cross for us, or anything like that.  But I do think it’s a little weird that we as consumers would think that a chocolate cross would be a good idea.  Maybe we could get a little chocolate electric chair for another time of year.  Or maybe a licorice noose.  It’d have to be black licorice though to keep it realistic and I’m not sure those would sell.  Because let’s face it, not that many people like black licorice, right?

Anyway.  Hope everyone had a great Easter.  I’m off to make some pancakes in the shape of those big axes that they used to cut people’s heads off.

There’s two theories out there when it comes to who you follow on Twitter and I think there’s value in both.  Though I think it’s important to have a plan when implementing either, especially when it comes to artists.  

Theory One.  Follow everyone that follows you.  This grows your followers list quick, gets your name out there faster, and ultimately increases your Twitter ‘popularity’ and maybe even your Twitter Grade.  And if that’s what your going for, great.  The downside?  Everyone you are following now has the ability to ‘Direct Message’ you, which (for an artist) forces you to have your phone off to all updates.  Relinquishing the point of having Twitter hooked to your phone in the first place.  Mark Lee made a great case for this theory on this (now put to sleep) blog and dealt with some of these questions and issues and is one of the best artist, follow those that follow you, Twitter-er out there.

Now, here’s where I see this theory working in favor of the artist or band that is running it.  If it’s a Twitter for a band as a whole, and it’s looked at as more of a news feed or for giving updates from the band, great.  Follow everyone that’s following you and grow that followers list as fast and as big as you can.  That will ultimately get the news out to more people looking for that sort of Tweet from you.

Theory Two.  Follow the folks that you would if you were a normal person on Twitter.  Most people on Twitter aren’t ‘marketing’ something.  They don’t have an end goal of selling you a record, or getting you at their shows, or really anything.  They see Twitter as a way to connect with their friends and some new people they find interesting.  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  Connect with people?

If the end goal is to be authentic and real on your Twitter does it then become a numbers game of following everyone that’s following you just to get the word out about something?  Does that defeat the purpose of Twitter in the first place?

Me personally, I don’t follow everyone that follows me, but I do follow a lot of people.  I like seeing what people have to say and if I start to lose interest, I don’t follow anymore.  After all it’s called ‘Following’ for a reason.  But, the SkörInc Twitter account does follow everyone that is following it and then some.  It does that to gain followers and get the word out about things related to what we do.  

So which is it?  Which are you?  Any other thoughts on following?

So, a long time ago Kristin returned some things to Buckle and got a $45 credit for a later use.  She looked around and decided there was nothing there she wanted so she gave the card to me.  This thing has been sitting in my wallet for literally over a year now, and I still can’t find a way to spend it.  And since I caught some flack on my Twitter because of it, I thought I would explain why I can’t stand that store.

First up.  The style.  See I went in there looking for a shirt one time.  Something plain to wear to a wedding.  Something that didn’t scream “I want to be Mark Driscoll“.  See, everything at Buckle, and I mean everything appears to have stayed in the printing area a little too long.  Maybe printed on two or three or four times.  There’s ink and design everywhere.  Swirly lines on the shoulders, skulls on the sides, plant looking things literally covering every shirt in there.  I’m just not that flashy.

Second.  The price.  See, the problem with a $45 credit is this.  You can’t buy anything in there.  Even if I wanted one of the overly printed on shirts I would need to come up with another $45 just to buy it.  The only things I have seen in there within the $45 price range are accessories and belts.  Now, again, I’m not much of an ‘accessory’ guy and I still can’t justify spending $45 on a belt.  Even though it’s ‘free money’ the thought of handing over that much money for something so little conflicts with everything in me.

Third.  The sales people.  Let’s say I did want the overly priced, overly printed shirt or I decided that $45 was a good deal for a belt, let’s say I liked the style and the price, what about the pushy ‘commission making’ folks that work there?  I literally cannot walk into the place without being told how ‘cool I would look in a fedora‘.  I’m sorry.  No, I would not look like Justin Timberlake if I bought that hat, I don’t care what your manager told me to tell you.

There was literally one time, back when I was looking for that plain shirt without print all over it, and I finally found one with the least amount of ink covering it.  The price tag read $85 and the tag said ‘medium’.  Neither of which really work for me.  The overly pushy sales girl told me to try it on anyway and that ‘the style is tight shirts’.  Cornered back into the dressing room I gave the shirt a shot, and was able to button just three of the buttons.  Let’s see, I could pay $85 for a shirt that still has crap printed all over it and doesn’t fit.  I think I’m good.

So the card went back in my wallet and there it has been.  Talk about a long-winded justification for why I don’t feel like I’m ‘cool’ enough to shop at Buckle.