Now, over the years I’ve taken a lot of flack for hating Sponge Bob.  Chris even has been giving me grief about my Tweet concerning Sponge Bob, but here’s the thing.  Chris doesn’t have kids that bounce off the walls and scream their heads off after watching it.  The only person getting hyper after watching that show is Chris and his wife has to deal with that.  Don’t get me wrong, I think there’s something to be said for a cartoon that has lasted as long at Sponge Bob has and the marketing team behind the franchise is doing a great job selling product and keeping it going and all, but here’s the deal.  It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if the creators or “owners” of Sponge Bob had considerable amounts of stock in the children’s A.D.D. medication Ritalin.

Now hear me out on this.  My kids watch some of the most weird annoying cartoons out there too.  In fact at this very moment my four year old is sick watching Yo Gabba Gabba.  Could there be a weirder show?  But at least there’s some musical influence and Jack Black is on it occasionally.  But Sponge Bob?  Seriously?  That is pure annoyance.  Pure, unfiltered, hyper, drive you mad, annoyance.  Am I wrong?

Yesterday Blue went to the dentist and got a new toothbrush.  Last night before bed as he was brushing his teeth he told me that the dentist had a Sponge Bob toothbrush but he didn’t pick that one because he knew I didn’t like him.  Good boy.

So, let’s hear it.  What cartoon do you absolutely despise?

**Disclaimer – This is a joke and I don’t really think that Sponge Bob’s creators and owners own stock in Ritalin and I also I recognize the seriousness of A.D.D and don’t think it’s a joke necessarily.  Does that get me away from any legal ramifications of this post?**

Stock In Ritalin? is a post from: Brody Harper

Kristin is a lot more forgiving than I am.  She sees the good in things and can make any situation a positive one.  She has a great attitude and is one of those “silver lining” type of people.  You know the ones.  I’m glad I married her because if she wasn’t like that we would have a depressing life.  Take this camping trip for instance.  Here is her side of the story.  And here is the rest of the story.

First off.  Hey East Tennessee, they’re called toilet seat covers.  Ever heard of em?

We drove about three hours east and then north a little while.  The maps rendered useless once we started getting close and the directions were telling us to “turn right on Local Road”.  Eventually we stopped in at gas station to ask directions and found out we were headed in the right direction.  Eventually we saw clever signs with the name of the camp ground and sayings like “You’re getting close y’all”.  Good news.

We pulled up to the entrance of the campground and noticed as soon as we drove in a teepee that looked exactly the same as the one on the website.  I read allowed the sign instructing us to check in at the top of the hill.  As I looked around I noticed a few “more permanent” camping spaces and started to wonder what we were really driving in to.

I followed the gravel road up and around the pool where several people were gathered.  Still not seeing any other teepee’s I asked Kristin if she thought the teepee on the side of the road at the entrance was the only one there was.  I got out to check in and felt like I had stepped on to the set of “My Name Is Earl” only the lady from “There’s Something About Mary” was there too.  Pink string bikini and all.  Next to the gate to the pool was a woman in her early thirties, maybe six or seven months pregnant just finishing a cigarette and telling the toddler next to her that it was time to head home.

One of the women near the pool got up and walked to the gate and welcomed me to the grounds.  She brought me in to the office and confirmed that we were the family staying in the teepee.  The teepee. She told me she had turned the fan on so it should be cool in there and that the pool was open until seven and I said goodbye.

Eager to check out the teepee we drove around the circle and parked right in front.  We got out and went inside.  There sat two cot-type beds, a lamp and a box fan.  The boys were excited and jumping on the beds when I noticed a wasp flying around.  Now, I am not a fan of wasps so I told the boys to get out and I would get it out.  Just then Kristin noticed a nest with several wasps stuck to the side of the teepee.  All of the wasps looking at me ready to eat my face off.

I went back up to the office and explained to the lady that there was a wasps nest inside the teepee and asked what we should do.  She said she would take care of it and I figured that we could go on a little hike for the time being.  We started down a trail with a sign marked “Lake” with an arrow.  Kristin had been excited to swim in the lake ever since we read about it online and even bought the boys some new water shoes.  After about twenty minutes of walking we heard some voices and knew that we were close.  As we walked around the corner we realized that we would not be swimming in a lake that day.

A few minutes later down the trail we saw a sign saying “Upper Falls” so we decided that maybe that was the place that we would do some swimming.  Up some hills and deeper into the woods, we followed the trail the way it was telling us.  The boys pretended to hear wolves, and follow wild animal tracks, occasionally wandering into the trees.  One particular tree that the boys decided to run behind had specific instructions on what not to do, but Kristin and I wrote if off as a bad joke.

We finally found the falls, and played in the mud, got lost on the way back and decided that it was time to visit the pool.  No one was in there at the time so it was the perfect time to swim around with the boys and play.  It wasn’t five minutes and a family walked up wearing mostly camouflage and talking about how tired they were from working at the flea market all day.  The dad and, what I would guess was about 17 year old, son jumped in the pool and swam for a bit, then decided to float face down on some air mattress things.  Eventually the dad got out and yelled, “Jerry D., make sure you’re home by dark”, and left the pool area.  After about ten minutes of camo covered Jerry D. floating uncomfortably close to me and cornering me into sides of the pool repeatedly I decided that it was time to roast some hot dogs over the fire.  

The thought of quite literally roasting hot dogs on a campfire that is nearly in someone’s front yard was a bit comical to me, but I was going to do it regardless.  After all we were CAMPING IN A TRAILER PARK. What could make it more awkward?  We waved to the people in the cars as they were coming home from work and joked about how maybe we should go ask to use their stove to cook the hot dogs.  Because of the humid air it was nearly impossible to light a fire worthy of roasting hot dogs or smores later on that evening.  I kept trying until finally we gave up and decided to have them cold.

With most of the wasps gone, we decided to head to bed around eight o’clock and tell Indian stories.  The boys thought it was fun to make things up and like my story of the Indians that stumbled on to the colony of more established Indians and looked like idiots trying to roast hot dogs in the front yards of the other Indians trying to watch American Idol in their trailer.  Eventually the boys calmed down and fell asleep to the sounds of a box fan and intoxicated hillbillies.  

All in all we had a good trip but I think a state park is the way to go next time.  Really, when it comes down to it, I was with my family and away from my phone and computer for two days and that was the best part.  I did come back to about a hundred and thirty emails and a handful of voicemails but it was worth it to get to hang out with the family and score this picture.  

Final Score:  Tennessee rednecks – 1  Harper family – 0.  But at least no one got stung or eaten.  I was however able to bring back a souvenir though.  This morning the boys wanted to run down the the creek one last time and as we were down there I found a really cool stick that I pulled out of the water and decided to bring home to Randy.

What did you do this weekend?

The Rest Of The Story is a post from: Brody Harper

I have more pictures coming, but this was too good to wait.  This is fine establishment is tucked in a cool little area in downtown Gettysburg….. and I will never eat there.

Worst restaurant name ever?

Ready? Go.

Guess Where I’m Never Eating. is a post from: Brody Harper

My friend Michael, who doesn’t blog anymore, and I have been talking about running together for a few weeks now and tonight we finally made it happen.  We have about a three mile circle around our neighborhood and we did the whole thing.  Now, he has been running for a few weeks.  I have not.  I went once last week, and then didn’t want to anymore forgot the rest of the week.

See the thing is I’m not a runner so I have to really hype myself up about it.  I have to convince myself that I like it and really want to do it.  I have to tell myself the next morning that the reason my leg won’t work is because I did something good.  That’s hard for my brain to do.

I did however realize that if I have the right apparel for running it makes a world of difference.  Tank-tops and running shorts.  I’ve never owned either, but I see where it helps.  This picture is of me just before my run.  

I’m completely lying.  This is one of the nastiest pictures I have ever seen and I apologize if it offends you. But honestly, it should offend you, I mean look at it.  Could it get nastier?   And really when it comes down to it, it’s amusing to me, so I get to have it on here.  Come on.  You know it’s funny.

Seriously though.  Running is good for you or something.  You should do it more.  As long as Michael can put up with me whining like a baby the whole time, I’ll keep giving it a shot. 

You run?

IRan is a post from: Brody Harper