May 21st – The End Of The World
So, this fella says that the end of the world as we know it is going to happen Saturday at 6:00pm. There’s going to be some massive earthquakes that work their way around the earth and at every different 6:00pm bad things are going to happen. Then Sunday is going to be Judgement Day according to this guy.
Last night I was watching some late night show and Will Farrell was the guest. I was kind of falling asleep, but he had a list of things that he wanted to do before the world ended. One of them was to ‘Punch a Starbucks barista in the face’, which made me laugh and hurt my rib. I can’t really remember the rest, but it got me thinking.
Now, this isn’t some Toby Keith, “Live like you were dying” kind of question, but for real, if this crazy old man was right and things are about to get crazy on Saturday, what’s one funny thing that you’d do today to enjoy your last couple days?
We’ll recap all this on Sunday.
Don’t Let This Depress You
A friend and I were talking the other day about the current economical status of our country. Gas prices are through the roof, causing people to want (need) to buy other forms of transportation such as scooters or motorcycles, causing the prices of those other forms of transportation to rise. And that’s just one of the examples of how we are financially screwed as a country. House prices are in the toilet, employers are downsizing, people are buying less because there is less to spend. I think there are very few people reading this that aren’t affected by all of this stuff.
This friend and I started wondering how many people in the country are worse off now then they have ever been financially. I know it sucks to think about, but I’m curious. Here’s the deal. You can comment as “Anonymous” if you want, but I’m curious. On a scale of 1 to 10. 1 being the “poorest” you have ever been, and 10 being the “richest”, where do you fall today?
*Obviously, our “rich” and “poor” are relative to the World’s and I by no means am saying that anyone here in America is “poor” compared to the rest of the world. But let’s face it, we live in a culture and society where we, as American’s, need more to survive in this culture. We could go back and forth with that if we wanted to, but that’s not what this post is about.*
So that’s the question. On a personal scale of 1 to 10, 1 being the “poorest” you’ve ever been and 10 being the “richest”, where do you fall today?
Allergies, Swedish Fish And Jackie P.
Row 18, Seat A. That’s the window seat in the back of the plane I am on right now. I’m next to the bathroom and a flight attendant named Jackie P. She seems nice. Her name is on her shirt and she’s reading “The Color Purple”. I bet she likes Oprah.
I landed in Charlotte on the way to Ohio and was told that my flight was delayed an hour. Moments after I was told that, sitting there with my computer and phone plugged in attempting to find some sort of internet my allergies decided to show up. I have a weird nose, and it’s probably the origin of my aversion to people touching my nose, but it bleeds really easily. Or, sometimes, for no reason at all. Which is really neat when you are on the phone, and your computer and everything is plugged in.
There’s nothing quite like packing up everything as fast as you can while blood is dripping down your face all over your shirt in the middle of an airport terminal. Or being the guy that now has everything packed up and is running around looking for a bathroom with blood all over his face and hands and shirt and pants. Seriously, there’s nothing like it. I defy you to find something like it. You can’t can you? Because there truly is nothing like it.
After that fiasco, I decided to check out the snack shop area and picked up some awesome Swedish Fish, and a Tropical Citrus Vitamin Water. Six dollars and forty-eight cents. Neat. Once I almost bought a turkey wrap from a refrigerated wall at an airport before I realized it was nine dollars. Airport food hurts my heart sometimes.
Turns out my flight wasn’t delayed as much as once broadcast on the loud speaker. By the time I got back to the gate, sat down and plugged in my computer again, an announcement from the speaker above me told me that my flight was now boarding. I packed everything back up.
So here I am back in the corner of this plane, next to the bathroom and Jackie P. listening to the new Coldplay record and waiting for this plane to land in Akron, Ohio. Pretty glamorous huh?
IRan
I went running tonight, and I want to die.
My friend Michael, who doesn’t blog anymore, and I have been talking about running together for a few weeks now and tonight we finally made it happen. We have about a three mile circle around our neighborhood and we did the whole thing. Now, he has been running for a few weeks. I have not. I went once last week, and then didn’t want to anymore forgot the rest of the week.
See the thing is I’m not a runner so I have to really hype myself up about it. I have to convince myself that I like it and really want to do it. I have to tell myself the next morning that the reason my leg won’t work is because I did something good. That’s hard for my brain to do.
I did however realize that if I have the right apparel for running it makes a world of difference. Tank-tops and running shorts. I’ve never owned either, but I see where it helps. This picture is of me just before my run.
I’m completely lying. This is one of the nastiest pictures I have ever seen and I apologize if it offends you. But honestly, it should offend you, I mean look at it. Could it get nastier? And really when it comes down to it, it’s amusing to me, so I get to have it on here. Come on. You know it’s funny.
Seriously though. Running is good for you or something. You should do it more. As long as Michael can put up with me whining like a baby the whole time, I’ll keep giving it a shot.
You run?
I’d Like To Check You For Ticks
This morning I went in to check on the boys as they were waking up. Cooper had woken up and since he shares a room with Aiden I waned to get him out of the room before he woke Aiden up. If Aiden is woken up and doesn’t wake up on his own, we all pay for it the entire day. He’s the musician in the family. Oh, come on you all know it’s true.
So anyway, as I was walking out of the room Aiden started to look around and I patted him on the head to tell him to go back to sleep. When my hand touched the side of Aiden’s head I felt a little bump deep in his hair that felt like something stuck in his hair. Not wanting to wake him up, I just let it go until he woke up.
About an hour later, Aiden came into our room and I asked him if I could take a look at his head. I started digging around in his curly hair and found the tiny bump that I had felt earlier. I noticed it was a little brown thing that looked like a mole or something like that, but I knew he didn’t have anything like that on his head. I’ve seen his head with no hair on it and it’s never been there before. I started to realize that it looked more like a little creature and decided to pull it out. I grabbed it with my fingernails and did the twist pull thing that they tell you to do with ticks and out it popped.
A freaking tick on Aiden’s head! I wanted to throw up, but I was holding this little tiny creature that was, just moments ago, was sucking blood from my three-year-olds skull. I knew that these little guys are tough to kill so I pinched it between my thumb and middle finger nail. As soon as I did that I felt a quick, light spray all over my face and looked at my fingers that were now covered in smooshed bug and child skull blood. If I had eaten breakfast yet it would have been on the floor. So gross.
I checked the rest of Aiden’s head, and Blue’s and Coopers. They are all good to go now, but I haven’t stopped itching yet. I have a new understanding for that lame country song about the ticks. You know the one with the guy that plays amazing guitar, but sings lame lyrics. Yeah that guy.
Psychics, Fortune Cookies And Bibles
I’ve never called a psychic hotline. I’ve wanted to several times. I’ve wanted to call and give a fake credit card number, then wonder if they knew I was going to do that. I’ve only seen a few different psychic type things on T.V. on those late night commercials. You know the ones…. with the Jamaican lady that says things on the commercial that relate to you sitting there in the dark at three in the morning. Somehow she knows that I am about to make a “large financial decision” and that an “old friend is coming back into my life”. She knows that “new things are on the horizon” and will tell me what it is if I call and give her my credit card number.
Fortune cookies are the same way. They are just general enough that they leave you feeling like something amazing is about to happen. Something “big is in your future”, all you have to do is “persist”. They tell you that you are about to “embark on something exciting” and get your mind reeling on what that could be. It gets you excited. Psychics know what they are doing. Fortune cookie writers know what they are doing. They are selling you nice feelings. They are telling you things that are general enough to leave you feeling good and then cashing your checks.
I grew up in a grounded Christian home. I went to church every Sunday, sometimes on Wednesdays, and even brought my Bible most times. Even now there is rarely a time where I hear a Bible verse and don’t recognize it as something I have heard before. I have heard all the stories, and even understand several of them. I know what verses to think about to be encouraged and I know what verses to think about when I am acting wrong. And then I stop and wonder if these verses have become like “fortune cookies” to me.
Now before anyone freaks out, this thought just hit me yesterday and I haven’t really thought through it all that much. The thought hit me when I was flipping through the radio stations in the truck yesterday and it landed on the local Christian radio station. Some well-know artist was reading a Bible verse to encourage the listener (me). It was a simple verse and there was no context included. It was only two sentences, and left the listener (me) inspired and ready to tackle any hardship that came my way. This well known musician must know what the listener (I) am going through and knows exactly what the listener (I) needed to hear. Am I being marketed to? Am I being handed neatly packaged good feelings that are sitting on top of the bill for my dinner? And worse of all is the Bible being used in a general enough sense that there’s no way to feel lost and hopeless?
Christian radio stations, and church marketing people know we want to feel good the same as psychics and fortune cookie writers. They know what we want to hear and to keep us coming back to the buffet. They know what’s going to keep us on the phone just five more minutes at $3.99 a minute. But what happens when we see through the fake Jamaican accent? What happens when the good feelings that come from the inspiring thought fades and we are stuck with reality that there is no exciting future prospect? And what happens when the radio is off and we are back to feeling completely abandoned? That concerned me today.
