Southern Pride – Northern Manners?
Kristin had never been to New York before two weeks ago. She’d seen the pictures, seen the movies portraying the city, even read books set there, but never actually been involved in the culture that is New York City. I’d been a few times for work. Nothing more than a day or two there to walk around and catch as much as I could in the short time I was there. Certainly not long enough to capture the entire ‘vibe’ of the city.
Now, as far as the ‘stereotype’ for New York goes, we all know it right? Rough, hurried, self-centered, rude… the list goes on right? I mean, I could be wrong, but from an outside perspective I think we’d all agree that New Yorkers are considered to be a certain way, right? Funny thing is, not many of those characteristics are similar to what we’d call ‘Southern Hospitality’ right?
Kristin and I took the subway several times in the couple times we were in the city and there were a couple things that jumped out at me on those short rides. Now, I’ve been on public transportation in tons of major cities in America and typically (especially in San Francisco) the insides of the cars are usually decorated with all sorts of ads. Since sex sells here in America most of these ads are pretty provocative or at the very least pretty suggestive. So naturally it took me back to see that in the middle of New York City the ‘ads’ that are covering the subway car walls were pretty different.
One stated “Bring Manners Back To The City: Give an elderly person or pregnant woman your seat”. This one had a picture of a guy in a suit standing up and offering a pregnant woman his chair on the subway.
The second was a picture of a man with a dirty face and jacket. Under his picture it said this: “Help the homeless.” Then beneath that in the small print it said something like, “help the homeless or if you see someone in need dial 311 and we’ll send someone out to help”. Not the exact wording but you get the idea. Pretty striking difference than what we’d expect from such a “rough” city. Sure, there are rough areas, and I’m certainly no expert on the city of New York, but that certainly jumped out.
Fast forward about 15 hours as we’re pulling into the “Bible Belt” south of East Tennessee and we are greeted with none other than the Confederate Flag waving proudly in the sky. Now, we’ve had some pretty great conversation about the flag, the meaning of it, as well as the perception of it, but I have to be honest. Going from what is stereotypically a rude, self-centered, rough place publicly promoting manners and caring for others, to the Bible Belt and what is stereotypically generous and “hospitable” waving such a “controversial” icon struck me as a little weird.
And here’s the thing. I’m not claiming to be some culture expert and certainly have no idea what each person in the world thinks about homeless or manners or racism or hate, but I do, however, have eyes. And I have perception. And like every one else in the world I have questions about it all. So, I know there’s not really a point to this rambling, but I’m curious what you think about all this.
I love to hear or see anyone, anywhere, any place promoting good manners, courtesy, consideration for others…all of those things that seem to be in short supply everywhere.
The thing I still cannot quite understand is why showing that we have pride in our Southland needs to be equated with anything other than just that…pride for our home, our families, our neighbors.
I do not believe that all New Yorkers read those signs and follow their suggestions.
I do not believe that all Southerners look at that flag and behave in hateful ways or use it to symbolize hateful ideas.
Why do you put more emphasis on one sign than the other…judge one good and one bad. Can’t we judge individuals based on their actions rather than their signs?
Betsy- I agree with you that generalizations of entire areas are inaccurate, and each individual is going to have seperate ideas, and actions. I also agree that good manners etc are in short supply everywhere.
I think Brody’s point, is not a judgement, but more of an observation. Seeing signs on subways promoting kindness, was so encouraging, not something that would make anyone uncomfortable, and honestly it was probably there because there is a problem with rudeness. It was just cool to see the effort to make things better.
I think that is why it is just as shocking as it is to see a flag, that does make people uncomfortable, in the bible belt which is known for “southern hospitality,” and also has a past practicing racism and it seems that to continue flying that flag, seems to be against progress in that area. I feel like there should be a different flag flown for southern pride.
Just my opinion, I know I wasn’t involved in the flag debate- so that may have already been discussed!
i feel it is only fair to point out that racism is practiced everywhere in the world by distinct groups of people, (even in california).
it bothers me when people say that THE SOUTH has a history of practicing racism. not everyone in the south practiced or still practices racism. just like not everyone in california practices homosexuality, (which seems to be the stereotype about CA that i run into most in TN). certain groups do certain things in certain areas, but i think it is unfair to label everyone in that area because of what some people do.
what does the american flag mean to you?
to some it stands for freedom.
to some it stands for big government.
to some it stands for a future or the american dream
to some it stand for military might
to some it stands for rebelion
to some it stands for a super power
to some it stands for medleing, policing, and sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong
to some it is fire fodder.
to some it is more sacred than anything, and worth fighting about if it is disrespected
my point is any symbol can have any number of meanings to the people who see it. the american flag is not well respected elsewhere in the world lately, but the important thing is how we as americans see it. to us it is an important symbol of what we believe in, and what we have built, and what we are proud of.
in the same way the confederate flag is not well respected outside of the south. but the important thing is how the southerners see it. to them it is an important sybol of what they believe in, what they have built, and what they are proud of.
any symbol can be looked at differently by different groups.
i do see what brody and kristin are saying that it is inhospitible to show a symbol that makes people uncomfortable. like inviting a jewish couple to your house and leaving your nazi flag on the wall, (for lack of a better example).
on the flip side i bet the american flag makes a lot of people world wide uncomfortable. do we apologise and take it down because of how some see it? and yet the U.S. has always said give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teaming shore. send these, the homeless, tempest-tost, to me. that sounds pretty hospitible to me.
what i am trying to say is that it is possible to be known for hospitality and stand behind a symbol some find offensive.
didn’t finish my thought lol
if you love a symbol and believe in what it originally stood for, and not what people have perverted it to mean, then you support it and fly it proudly. you don’t change it or apologise for it because of how people percieve it. you can’t control how people will use a symbol, just like you can’t control how people will perccieve it, but you can defend it if you belive it stands, ( or stood) for something important.