The Bird Photographer
It happens every now and then. Sometimes when I’m on the road for long periods of time, sometimes when I’m tired, or sometimes when everything is fine. I get in this funk that for some reason I can’t shake. Call it a depression, call it being moody, call it what you want, but I think we all go through it occasionally…. At least I hope. These last few days have been a little like that but different…. and this time it’s starting to jack with me a little.
I literally just got back from walking down the street to a Starbucks in Spokane, Washington. The venue we are at is on the other side of the river and there’s this pretty amazing walk across a bridge and through a downtown area. There was a carousel with music and all sorts of people enjoying their day.
Walking back I noticed a guy sitting on the bridge with a massive camera taking pictures of, I assume, the birds as they dove down into the water. He looked pretty involved in what he was doing, wearing headphones and clearly ‘somewhere else’. Instantly, my mind went to this place of “what’s the point?” ”Why would you take the time to go to some bridge to take pictures of birds? Seems pointless to me. It’s not benefitting anything. What’s he going to do with 100 pictures of birds?”
What?!?
Who’s in my head, and how did you get there? I used to take pictures of birds. I used to appreciate art. I’m usually blown away by music. I’m fascinated by photography. Is the concept of ‘art’ slowly becoming meaningless to me? Maybe it’s because I’m working so much. Maybe it’s because I’m simply too busy to enjoy the artistry of the things around me. Maybe it’s because I have to pretend to be a “business owner” all the time studying statistics and all that junk. If anything, I hope I’m not turning into ‘that guy’.
Now this isn’t one of those posts where I have some answer or ‘solution’ on how I “got over it”. This is just the only thing I could think about writing when I got back from seeing the bird photographer. Maybe I need more sleep, or a day off, or to see my family. Who knows. I just know there’s going to need to be a conscious effort in noticing the art.
Anyone else fall into this every once in a while? Any suggestions?
I definitely fall into that place. Sometimes it just takes time to get out of it. Friends you trust can help lift you out…definitely time with God! This is just a long run for all you guys. Be encouraged, you’re doing a good thing.
I’m a music nut. But every now and then I get into a funk where music annoys me. I crave silence. I don’t think that’s bad.
But I totally get what you’re talking about. I catch myself doing that more often than I’d like. And it can be hard to pull myself out of it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of keep on keeping on. Other times I have to actively pull my head back into gear.
I’ve been there too Brody. And I have to agree with Lisa that sometimes it just takes time. I think going through those times of busyness, funk, whatever, so that when I come out of it and seek solace in the thinks I like, art and music I appreciate it that much more. It takes on a new element after the funk. The best thing I’ve always found is to go back to the basics. What made you first fall in love with music, photography, art? Start there and fall in love all over again!
Brody: Once again, nice topic. You bring up a great point that most everybody has to deal with throughout their life at some time. We are shaped by surroundings…work, family, friends, organizations, etc. The important thing is to only be shaped and not controlled. Once we stop being ourselves and become someone we don’t even recognize it is time to step back and ‘detox’ from these worldly forces. The bible warns of us becoming too worldly.
Our professions can be one of the greatest worldly forces at work to control us. Consultants often complain that they feel they have to take business when the opportunity arises because of the feeling that the next job may never come. So they end up working endless hours and before they know it they are struggling with not being in control, even though they have made the choices.
There are other worldly distractions that can cause us to violate, and even alter, our personal constitutions. One day we wake up and we hate things about what our life has become.
Solution…It varies for all of us. Self help guru’s would tell you to ‘look within yourself’ and a bunch of crap like that. I think Lisa M. was on the right track…The Holy Spirt will work in your life but a person has to ask. A person needs to have a strong constitution of their own. A person needs to know what works for them, what causes stress, or what compromises who they are and what defines really them.
The message…stay in control (that does not mean be controlling!). Be shaped but not redefined by the world and others. Know who you are and what you want. Stop and smell the roses…and snap a few pics of birds. Your wife and kids will appreciate someone with a clearer constitution.
I think busyness sucks the creativity out of you. I think it’s why God created the sabbath, because we need rest. I’m always more creative and appreciative of creative things when I’m well rested and not too busy. I think it’s why the phrase, “stop to smell the roses,” exists, because people fall into that.
I can’t wait to see you, and take some pictures of some birds!
I can relate to what you are saying. I think seeing your family will help tremendously.
Well unfortunately I’m in it right now
…
And I don’t like it…BUT I do like bird watchin’ and can’t wait to get out of this sad mental state…I’ll just try to stay focused on the positive and and pray that God helps and guides me…
Thanks for being so human and admitting the funk. It happens, for me it is just what you do with the feeling to turn it around and make something good come from it…
Thank you Mr. Harper!
I guess sometimes I’m a history nerd. Art doesn’t really do anything for me, but I took a Fine Arts Survey class one semester and learning the history behind the art changed that. I ended up taking the next two Art History classes as well simply because I love knowing the significance of a toilet as art or just a simple feather sculpture.
exodus 17. this is the first thing that came into my mind. you need arron and hur to come alongside and hold you up. to releve some of your burden so that you can effectively do what you are called to do. that is what i am getting put on my heart. hope it helps.
Hey Bro … I feel ya!
I’m in my own struggle too.. You know i shoot a ton of christian concerts to share.. but it’s not my day job and truth is I don’t make a dime but invest a ton of time processing images, posting stuff to our webzine & flickr, running my own blog based on my stuff… but I wonder anymore if I shouldn’t just give it up and be done with it.. at one time I used to see the value in just using my stuff to encourage christian music buffs.. trying to bring something positive to the “body”. But I’m just not sure anymore..
So I’m just trying to… “persevere in running the race that lies before us” … we’ll see what happens.. So trust me bro, your not alone in your struggles
Praying for you. You just need some time at home with your precious Kristin and the rest of your tribe. Hope they are over the strep throat. Take care of yourself and just know we love you guys and you are always in our prayers. You have an exciting, but hard job.
I know when I get complacent is when I isolate. Nothing in, nothing out. It doesn’t matter what I am complacent with. Housework, job hunting, recovery, God. One thing that helps me, that I have learned in recovery, is finding that peaceful balance. Between working my program, doing service work, etc. Same in any part of my life. Balance isn’t always easy. Sometimes I feel like I’m at the pinnacle & there is no solution. But, it’s always right there, within my grasp. It’s God, who is ever-faithful. No matter what.
I don’t know what causes it or how exactly to get rid of it, but Ryan has the same exact thing you describe happen to him once in a while. It can be very serious, even scary, for him (and us). They are like short-term depression ambushes. I hope you will let me know if you learn anything about avoiding them or driving them off! And I hope it is not a continuing issue for you. I’ll be praying.
God bless.
I understand what you are going through, after 9 by-passes with in 1 yr I found solitude and seclusion with Gods gift of nature and my camera was my answer.