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It Hurts Right Here

Today I picked up the baby and then wanted to fall on the floor and cry.  Something bad happened.  It’s been bugging me a little today and then I put the baby in his highchair and BAM, I was broken.  Broken to the point of being short of breath and wanting to cry like a baby.  

I wish we had a chiropractor that lived with us.  Maybe under the stairs or something.  Somewhere not really in the way or anything but maybe we could go to a closet unhook him from a hook and he could fix me.  Then I could hang him up again for next time.  Though I imagine if I had to hang him up, I run the risk of hurting myself hanging him up, causing me to need to get him down again and that could get annoying.  I’d be willing to buy him a step stool or something so he can do get up there himself though.  That’s the type of guy I am.

I’m broken somewhere between the middle of my shoulder blades all the way around under my arm and into my chest.  Like that picture only I have more hair and the man boob makes it awkward.  

Do you ever wish someone would swing you by your feet from the roof and stretch you out?  I do.


8 Responses to
“It Hurts Right Here”

  1. I picked up the boy today and now my left hip is aching. Is this what it’s like to get old?

  2. You know what helps? A slant board. But they’re a couple hundred bucks. So I lie upside down on the driveway. Works just fine and for free. And the neighbors pretty much leave me alone after that.

    if you want I can come over and crack some bones and stuff. I even have one of those little rubber mallets the chiropractors use. Except it’s made out of metal and called a hammer. But we can try it.

  3. I just saw a commercial showing the thing you need. Maybe its the thing Shaun is talking about, I didn’t catch the name though. Basically it flips you upside down and is supposed to be good for your back. The skeptic in me thinks that this puts you in a pretty precarious position for cruel jokes and torture from kids…. but thats just me…

  4. Oh, and if the art subject had more hair I would think that it was this guy

  5. Kricketd

    every day. I feel really old now.

  6. Oh man, yes. A live-in chiropractor would be awesome! There are some days when I get this pinched nerve in my neck and I feel like someone poked a flaming needle into my spine.

    I feel your pain. Good luck on finding a chiropractor you can hang in the closet. And if you find one, let me know where I can get one.

  7. They just had to draw that. Hope you get stretched or feel better soon!

  8. but why only one man boob… he looks like he is lopsided.

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