Anyone who has spent any amount of time with me knows that I am a complete idiot when it comes to ordering food. Typically the only thing that I consistently am able to get right is when I say “no tomatoes”. I can do that okay. The rest is a train wreck.
Here’s how it usually goes. I will look intently at a menu, whether it be something on the wall above a Taco Bell employee or a menu in my hand. And I will stare at this menu for a good amount of time knowing full well in the back of my mind, that I’m not really reading anything or even noticing that I am looking at something. My mind is somewhere else and I know what’s about to happen. Everyone else that I am with will have ordered and the circle of ordering around the table stops at me.
At this point the pressure is now elevated to the point where, even if I wanted to, there’s no possible way of concentrating on what I actually want to eat. The waiter or waitress tapping their pencil on their little pad of paper. The annoyed Taco Bell teenager popping their gum and shifting back and forth on their feet swaying left to right. I start to panic and scan the menu for the first picture that looks appealing and point at that, following it up with a “no tomatoes”. Yes! Got that part right.
Here’s the problem with The Order Disorder. You end up with something that ten minutes later you will be sitting there asking yourself, “Why did I even get this? What made me think this would even be decent?”. And then there’s the inevitable, “This looks nothing like the picture!”.
You know why you’re disappointed, Brody? Here’s why. Because you ordered by grunting at a picture and giving no thought to what you were doing. That’s why you have something sitting in front of you called “Lard Nar” and are flipping it around with your fork trying to come up with some part that looks edible. But at least there are no tomatoes.
And don’t get me started on trying to ask a question about a specific menu item. If I ask a question about it, chances are I am just going to panic and get whatever the waiter or waitress recommends. ”Yeah, sure, that sounds fine.” I can probably be talked in to ordering anything even if it sounds really nasty. It’s sad really.
I know there are plenty of people reading this that have witnessed my panic when it comes to ordering. Randy was making fun of me yesterday for it. Anyone else out there suffer from The Order Disorder? Maybe we should start a support group or something.
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I have the “I can’t order it as it is on the menu disorder”. Everything I ever order has to be altered in some way or fashion. H
Oh my word, I do that too! It is so frustrating. That’s why I end up with “the usual.” I eventually find something that I know I like at restaurants I frequent, so then I always order it. That way I don’t have to look at a menu and feel that awful pressure.
Of course, there are those times we visit a new place, and I end up with something I deeply regret just as you said-10 minutes later. (I’ve even done the “switch” with close friends. “Hey do you like this? Wanna trade?”) LOL.
Don’t go with my brother to a Mexican restaurant. He lives and breaths “authentic” and will spend an hour pouring over the menu, asking the waiter/waitress questions about the items they have no hope of knowing the answer to, and then finally ordering only to munch off everyone else’s plates because he’s still not satisfied with what he got. But, let him cook for you and your in for a treat.
As for me, it’s a rare thing for me to order something different at a restaurant I’ve eaten at before.
Oh my! You just made me feel normal! This is the EXACT reason that once I find something that I like at a restaurant, I *always* order it every time we eat there. Because otherwise, I walk out more hungry than when I went in and have to just sit there staring at my food while everyone else eats.
Sign me up for the support group.
There is nothing worse than sitting down with a meal and realizing you ordered something that you totally did not want to eat.
Even worse is when you’re at a sit-down restaurant and you see the server bring 3 or 4 meals to other tables and you think, “Now why the heck didn’t I order that???”
That’s awesome.
It’s funny how when you were speaking I knew exactly what you were about to do. I scan the menu, look at the words, and register nothing. While I am scanning the menu I’m normally thinking, “is there anyone here that i know” or “what am I going to do with the rest of the evening” or something about the church plant. Just never the actual items on the menu.
Then it happens, I order the same thing I order every time. It takes no thought or thinking.
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I have a solution. When I was touring daily, we’d spend hour upon hour staring at the wall having quickly run out of things to say. Then our bass player came up with way to kill time. It was called “What would you order”. The goal was to pick the ultimate best order at any given restaurant, thereby distracting you from endless road drudgery and making you think happy food thoughts.
Someone would pick a restaurant.. any restaurant that we had all been too… and say…”If you were at ______, what would you get?”. Then we’d all go around one by one and detail our entire food order out to the last detail.
A few months of that game, and you’d be so prepared it would make your head spin!
My wife has this disorder. She only orders 3 things: chicken fingers, grilled chicken or chicken pasta. 3 choices. But she won’t decide until she’s the last one to order, and everyone has to wait.
Here’s a tip for your ‘panic ordering’ disorder, Brody ( let me stop laughing first….).
Try getting a to-go menu from all the places/restaurants that you eat at or think you might eat at. That way, you can look the menu items over ahead of time (say hours or maybe in your case, days ahead). Then you will have your item already picked out and ready to order like a pro for when the waitress comes ’round.
**Remember…If you choose to go this route, stay away from the specials of the day. If you don’t, it will throw your whole rhythm off and once again you will be stuck staring at something on your plate that you don’t recognize.
Later!
I used to suffer from this.
Now, I just point to the things with little stars by them (or chili’s, or sombrero’s) - the house specialty type things. They’re usually pretty safe.
And then say “no tomatoes”
I have that dis”order.” If Jimmy’s not with me to help me make a decision -I’m lost.
Usually, I just be super friendly and ask the waiter or waitress what their favorite menu item is and I order that - then again I’m a pretty adventurous eater….so that might not work for everyone.
I’ve even given my waiter a couple options and then said, “Surprise me.” That was fun.
Luby’s terrifies me…makes me feel like I’m in a straight-jacket!!! : )
anyone else feel this way?
Levi always just orders the same thing. At least it would be something you liked. I have no problem telling the waitress to come back. Just today I asked her to come back three times. I don’t like to be rushed.
I’m pretty okay at ordering from the menu…but my husband is another story…he can order his own food okay (but often changes his mind last minute), but if he is driving through a drive thru with more than just himself in the car, forget it…I’ll be doing the ordering, thank you! And sometimes in a resturant, I like to have him order mine, but if there is anything involved in the ordering of my meal besides pointing, forget it again, I’ll be ordering my own! I can’t wait to see what he’ll do with 3 screaming kids yelling their order from the back seat!
Hang in there man, it could be worse!
Another splendor at challenge as that disorder is not a stranger at all. However, I thank God for the loved ones who order on my behalf considering I am a very picky and adventurous eater! Another thing I tend to do if by myself is to keep it simple, seriously.
I’m so with you on this one. A week ago I went to a restaurant and had to make the waiter come back three times before I could even muster up a drink decision. Which I then regretted as soon as he walked away.
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