Search-Word Challenge
Pathetic – Moon Janitor – I need to poop – Gene Pensiero cult leader - is like blaming spoons - stealing pine cones - baby sitter poaching - barbie jesus - stanky and the coal miners polka band - tick tock tick tock – Brody Harper nude.
“I need to poop”, said Gene Pensiero, cult leader as he grabbed his Barbie Jesus and headed out of the room.
Roughly ten minutes later, Floyd, the pathetic moon janitor, stumbled in after a late night of rocking out with Stanky and The Coal Miners Polka Band. Floyd was not normally one to be late, but Gene had recently noticed strange things happening when Floyd was around. ”Tick Tock Tick Tock“, said Gene, “How can we run an efficient cult here, if you can’t even show up on time?”
“Sorry, Gene, it won’t happen again”. Floyd had been accused of things in the past like baby sitter poaching, but nothing was ever proven, but now it seemed like every time Floyd was around it was as if someone was stealing pine cones and putting them places they didn’t belong.
Gene went to his eleventh wife Sara, concerned about Floyd and the missing pine cones. ”I don’t think I can trust him”, Gene said. ”Every time I ask Floyd about the pine cones, he is like… blaming spoons or something, and saying other weird things. And the other day when I was out on a walk, I saw Brody Harper nude, and that shook me up a little. There is just too many weird things happening in this place.” ”Well, it’s your cult, Gene.”, said Sara.
So I had this idea the other day to use all the search words that you guys came up with in a story. I picked most of them and put them at the top of this post. There’s my story. Keep in mind it’s way too early to come up with a creative way to use “baby sitter poaching” but I gave it a shot.
Here’s the challenge. The list of words is up there. Use those words and write your own story in the comments. Let’s see who can come up with the funniest story.
Ready? Go.
LOL – I had to “Share This” with my sister. It makes me think of the mad libs she used to love doing. Do you remember Mad Libs? Brody’s search word mad lib. Ha! Quite creative Mr. Harper.
Melody
It’s a little long, sorry.
Gene Pensiero, cult leader, silently snuck down the hallway. He didn’t want to awaken his followers, particularly that pathetic moon janitor – talking to that guy was like stealing pine cones from an old lady’s potpourri – it was pointless and left you feeling a little dead inside.
“I need to poop,” he thought to himself. “I really should have installed another bathroom or two in this compound instead of investing in that failed, worthless website, BrodyHarperNude.net.”
“Don’t blame yourself,” he continued to himself. “That’s like blaming spoons for not being able to cut through a slice of pizza – you do what you know.”
Suddenly, Gene felt a sharp pain in his left foot. “Stanky and coal miners polka band!” he cursed. Lifting his foot, he saw the culprit – his fourth wife’s, third daughter’s Barbie Jesus was inexplicably lying in the hallway. Gene, mesmerized, stared at the toy. Tick tock, tick tock. The time rolled by. Tick tock, tick tock.
Gene didn’t know how long he stood there, but he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he had just had his first come to Jesus meeting and he needed to repent of his egregious baby sitter poaching. “We no longer need to steal our neighbor’s sitters – we can find our own!” he declared, resolutely continuing his march to the lavatory.
This was pretty funny. Clever idea. I’ll see what I can come up with and post it later in the day.
http://www.vagabondrunn.wordpress.com
I don’t even know why I’m attempting this. If Seth gets hold of this post and spins a yarn, it’s all over, but eh…I’m a glutton for punishment. Maybe if I throw in some familiar character names it’ll at least hold attention ’til the close, hmmm. So here goes…
Randy sat at the computer, eyes glazed over, Rockstar beverage long gone. He’d been working on his newest program, “Pathetic-Moon Janitor” for hours. The clock’s sing-song – tick tock tick tock, was abruptly ended as the T.V. blared out. “Geez Phil, turn that down will ya man. You scared me half to death,” Randy said, now wide awake. “Sorry about that. Hey, where is Brody anyway? It’s getting late and he said we’d only have to keep an eye on the boys for a little while. I thought we were gonna go out and catch that new band’s set. What’s their name again?” “I can’t remember for sure. It is like “Blaming Spoons” or something weird.” Randy surveyed the room,”You know, from the looks of this mess Brody ought to be out baby sitter poaching ’cause he’s never gonna want us to watch the boys again.” “Well,” Phil retorted, “I hope he hurries. I’m starving and these old, stale chips aren’t cuttin’ it. May as well be stealing pine cones to munch on.” Suddenly, the color drained from Randy’s face and Phil heard the ten o’clock news anchor saying…”This is Barbie Jesus(pronounced ‘hey-suess’), filling in for Sammi Cee tonight. Breaking news this evening, live from 520 Broadway in downtown Nashville. Daniel Renstrom is on the scene with an eye witness account. What can you tell us Daniel?” “Well, Barbie believe it or not I have Gene Pensiero cult leader here and he claims to have seen the whole thing. What can you tell us Gene?” “Yes, Daniel. First off, I just wanna give a shout out to Barbie Jesus and say that if you ever want to stop by the compound I’d love to share some mojitos, listen to a little “Stanky and the Coal Miner’s Polka Band, and show you around darlin’…” “Um, okay then,” Daniel interrupts,”so tell us about what you saw unfold here tonight Gene.” “Right. So I was out introducing myself to some new followers, I mean uh, friends – and then some lady comes around the corner yelling,’Look, look it’s Brody Harper nude!’” “Next thing I see, this guy strolls right past us all – buck naked.” “How did she know who it was,” Daniel asked. “Oh, because the guy had a piece of paper stuck on his cheeks that said,’I'm Brody Harper and this is a social experiment,’ Gene answered. “And did Mr. Harper make any comments about his erratic behavior?” “Nope, but I did get a nice side shot on my cell phone, see…” (Gene holds up his iphone showing a clear pic of Brody Harper nude on live T.V.)”Oh my, yea…wow. Well, that’s, that’s all from here Barbie back to you in the studio.”
Click. The screen goes blank and Phil turns back to a visibly shaken Randy. They stare in silence at each other. “So, it doesn’t look like we’re gonna see that “Blaming Spoons” show with Brody after all,” Phil says quietly. After a few moments Randy manages to speak. “Please don’t ever use a sentence with the words spoon and Brody in them again, never!” He turns and walks quickly out of the room, “Uh, if you’ll excuse me Phil. I gotta go – I need to poop…um, I mean PUKE now.”
The End
Melody Milbrandt
I won’t try my hand at the story, who could compare with the original. Thanks for the laugh though… Off to change shirts, lest someone think the coffee spill was the result of my clumsiness and not of this post.
OMG, this was such a great idea! i’m not even going to attempt to write a story but i’m having a blast reading them! I’m going to be laughing all day! Melody, I’m still laughing – you’re so awesome!!
This is the best Brody post ever. Okay, that could be an exaggeration, but still I frickin’ love it.
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i’m cracking up.
and i’m honored.
anyone who would like to apply to my cult (it’s pretty easy to get in), feel free to stop by.
Tick tock. Tick Tock. “Time is running out for me,” he thought. After multiple failed attempts to be something special and make a difference in his world, Gene Pensiero was about to give up hope.
He had pictured what success could mean for his family many times. What would it be like to get out of the rat hole they lived in? His apartment complex left much to be desired. The people drove him nuts. The crazy lady with the mole on her face who yelled at the children. The drunk who lived downstairs and insisted on blasting Stanky and the Coal Miners Polka Band on his 8-track stereo. Milo, the janitor with a penchant for exhibitionist stunts such as dropping trou at the ladies which earned him the nickname “Pathetic Moon Janitor.” It was all too much.
His days consisted of dreaming up the next “big thing” that would take the world by storm. He thought of marketing schemes that would prey on dumb people’s lack of will power to guard their discretionary income.
Weekends were spent stealing pine cones from the neighbor’s yard and gluing noses and beady eyes to them in hopes of designing a prototype for the next “pet rock” craze. It was a stretch but, maybe . . .
Then there was the meeting with the Mattel to pitch his “Barbie Jesus.” He thought creating a Jesus doll with normal human characteristics would help kids relate to Jesus better. But, the pull string idea that made Jesus say things like “pull my finger” and “I need to poop” was a little overbearing for the toy company.
He was desperate and willing to try anything. Start his own religion? Probably not. “Gene Pensiero—Cult Leader” is never how he pictured his name in lights.
He thought about becoming a nude model. He justified his plan by saying he would be “helping the arts.” But even then, did anybody really want to see him naked? He remembered seeing his roommate Brody Harper nude in college art classes and he couldn’t get it out of his mind. If Brody Harper wasn’t afraid to show his pathetic body in public, maybe there was hope for Gene.
There was no one to blame but himself. He was starting so late in life. He had wasted so many years. Blaming others for your own pathetic choices is like blaming spoons for making your rear end fat.
Still he blamed. He blamed his teachers. His parents. Anyone he could. He even blamed his neighbors for stealing away his only good babysitter that kept his kids occupied while he worked on his inventions. “We promise we won’t steal away your good babysitter—we only need her this once.” Liars. They paid her twice as much and took her away.
Had it really come down to this? He would go as far to blame babysitter poaching for his failures?
Friend, don’t be like Gene. If we blame others for all our failures, we must also credit others for all our successes. We must take responsibility for our own lives.
We are sure you are moved by this story, if you would like to now accept Jesus, please do so now.
Dude, p.s. this is the most fun I have had on a blog in a long time.
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ok, if my vote counts, thus far JVo’s is the story to beat. it was amazing.
seriously, well done.
Tick tock, tick tock. She looked at the clock nervously awaiting her date, Gene Pensiero cult leader. Pathetic is the word her father used to describe them. And that was nice considering the last guy. He was gainfully employed as a Blue Moon Janitor. But before they left to see Stanky and the Coal Miners Polka Band he announced, “I need to poop,” and took off his clothes. To make matters worse, her little sister walked in the room and there he stood, Brody Harper nude. She was traumatized already having been a part of the baby sitter poaching scandal that rocked their town. Now she just walked around stealing pine cones from Christmas wreaths that hung on neighbors’ doors and calling her Barbie Jesus. But like her mama said blaming Brody for his bad manners is like blaming spoons for being round, some things just are.
Word count = 147. This will be the short version!