My new friend Aaron is a rockstar. He plays a piano sort of standing up, sort of sitting down like Chris Martin, but sounds more like Ben Folds.

My new friend Aaron can talk this weekend but hasn’t for a month, which didn’t affect me one bit, but probably bothered some other people. It was also brought to my attention that my new friend Aaron also gets less hits on his blog than his wife. My new friend Aaron blames that on soccer moms and loyalty or something. Don’t you feel bad for him?

Here’s what I propose. Let’s all head to Aaron’s newest blog post, and in the comments give him consoling remarks as if we truly feel bad for his lack of “soccer mom” readers or otherwise. Stuff like “hang in there buddy” and “praying for your insecurity”… you know… that kind of stuff. Let’s see how many comments we can get on his newest post.