My Four-Inch Balcony
Yesterday we had a day off in El Paso. The bus pulled into a mall parking lot and stopped about eleven in the morning. We had an entire day to hang out and do whatever we wanted. I decided to start out the day by getting lock out on a balcony of a hotel.
Phil and I had a day room at a nearby hotel and decided to head over there to try to get some laundry done. Phil finished and headed back to the bus. I was on the phone with my wife and wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking. The “balcony” at this particular hotel was not even really a balcony as much as it was a sliding glass door leading to a four inch ledge, most likely not intended to hang out on.
Again, not thinking and still on the phone, I sneak out on to this four inch ledge and shut the door behind me. After about five minutes I realize it’s time to go inside and head back to the bus. I try to slide the door open and realize that it’s stuck. Still open about six inches I pull harder, realizing that the bar that holds the sliding door in place had fallen and locked me out.
“What am I supposed to do?” I asked my wife. “I suppose I could jump. It’s only the second floor.”
I decided not to jump, and just call information and get the number for the front desk. The only problem was that information needed to know what street I was on. “Well,” I explained, “See there is this tiny balcony and I am stuck on it. I’m looking at a mall, but can’t tell you what street I am on.” Information connected me to one of the three hotels in the city under that name.
I asked the guy who answered the phone if he was the hotel facing the mall. He said no and asked if he could give me the number to that hotel. Me without a pen and no memory, explained to him my situation and he called the hotel I was at for me.
“What room are you in”, he asked.
“Ummmm… not sure. I think I might be in 253, but I am facing the mall.”
“What name is the room under?”
Rooms are rarely under my name, and it really could be a number of names that the room was reserved under. Not to mention that we had five rooms under the same name at this particular hotel. Again I tell him, “Ahhh… I don’t really know”.
I can hear the guy on the line relaying what I am saying when he comes back on the line and tells me that the hotel is saying that the rooms facing the mall don’t have balconies.
“I understand that the intended use of this particular spot may not be considered an actual “balcony”, but I saw a sliding glass door and I went out it…. I was distracted and now I am stuck.”
After a quick back and forth, I was told that a maintenance man was on his way to the outside of the hotel to figure out what room I was in to come and get me. About ten minutes later I was rescued from room 259 (I was close).
All I could say to the guy that came and let me back in was, “I’m sorry, I’m stupid.” He smiled and walked out the door.
And you are responsible for other people?
You have things happen to you that some people only wish to have happen to them so that they can tell people about it on your blog.
You are lucky enough to actually be able to do that and not be completely lying. Congrats.
That’s awesome. At least you and Phil have had an interesting time on tour even though its only been like what 4 days?
Wow. You have one of the most interesting lives ever.
That’s something that could totally happen to me…but wouldn’t.
Glad you were rescued before you got heat stroke, and are now safe and sound.
How do we know he is not lying?
Have I told you how you being Phil’s Road Manager changed my life?
You have an interesting life..
Hmmm. Yeah maybe he is fooling us.
Eh, it’s still funny.
Again I just wanted to reitterate how life changing you becoming Phil’s road manager truely is. Wink wink, pinch.(the last part was Molly’s idea)
At least you didn’t brain yourself with a beam while putting up a swingset.
That is too funny! I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that does things like this.
Beth
So did you take that picture when you were stuck out there or afterwards?
One of your best stories so far.
hahahahahaha…that’s what you get for smoking on the balcony of a hotel.
bush…
no smoking… i was belly dancing for passing cars… i’ll make sure to check the door the next time i do that…
fancy
that was just a stock picture i found…. my camera was locked in the room with everything else…
And you think runners are bad!
I love it…and 411 was much better than panicked yelling…but why didn’t you just call NINE ONE ONE? It was an emergency!
That was pretty funny… I only felt okay laughing about it until I’d heard you made it back in!
My life is still changed. So are you giving out free full frontal hugs on tour?
I worked at a camp and did housekeeping for 5 summers…and one building had rooms with balconies that all connect along the outside of the building from room to room. One of our 15-year-old newbies was out there sweeping and decided to climb the railings to the next balcony over and keep going down the line (the building wasn’t occupied yet). We somehow forgot she was out there and went through and locked all the doors and sliders as we finished cleaning. She was probably out there for 20 minutes before I realized, all at once, that we’d left the poor girl out there on the second floor (which was much higher since the building is on a slope). I worked with her again this summer (it was maybe 3 or 4 years ago) and we laughed about it…I told her it was her initiation into housekeeping.
Moral of the story: always look both way before crossing the street.
Day off in El Paso? Ouch. Sorry.
–
so, i usually try to not leave comments on blogs of people i don’t know…but…this was awesome.
well done.
And they say us old ladies do weird stuff…..
I would have called the cops if I were walking down the sidewalk.
I would have been like-
“police? ok, there is a sketchy looking guy with a beard, tatoos, flipflops, and a black T-shirt on the balcony looking in the window of a room. I think you should check him out, he looks suspect.”
And that is just what I would have said knowing you, imagine if a stranger were to call the cops.
i’m laughing really hard on the inside…i would laugh really hard on the outside if I wasn’t in the library, lol!
I’d like to know how the story would have gone had you not had your cell phone…
matt…. i’d probably have a broken ankle right now from jumping over the rail
Brody,
It is my medical assesment of that last statement to be entirely false.
The act of jumping over the rail would not break your ankels.
The sudden stop of gravity in motion after jumping over the rail has a high probability of doing that damage though.
Shawn…what are you talking about???? You said on Phil’s site he would break his “cankles”…which is it dude….are you sure you are a medical professional??????? ok….I have lost my funniness today!!!!!!!
This is the most entertaining story I have read in a LONG time! Thanks for sharing it.
Oh no, Brody, sent out on a mission to
forcepersuade Phil to blog daily, has discovered that Phil’s powers of persuasion are greater than his own and has not blogged in two days.IT’S THE V-NECK BRODY! THAT’S WHERE HIS POWERS COME FROM! DON’T LOOK AT THE V-NECK!! DESTROY THE V-NECK!!!!
Shawn… I get it. … not so funny, smarty pants.
I think it is the V-neck .. and they’re getting deeper. I thought he was concerned with modesty once before. What happened?
Phil has become a rebel.
He’s having a like third or quarter life crisis or something.
Holy freakin’ cow. That was hilarious!! Thank you for sharing.
ok, I just read the awkward post in an RSS feed, and that one had me rolling on the floor (not really, but it was hilarious).
I wanted to comment on it, but looks like it’s gone. Thanks for sharing.
AND HEB stands for something Butts is what I was told. They apparently worship that grocery store.