Last week, on our trip to California, Shaun and I shared a plane with Randy Jackson. Sure, everyone on the plane was rude, disgusted that you were sitting next to them and refused to turn of their electronic devices, but let me tell you, that flight didn’t have anything on our flight today to Texas.
We left Nashville this morning and flew to Houston on a pretty empty flight. So far so good. After a short layover in Houston and some pizza for lunch, we boarded our short flight to Corpus Christi. Even though we were in the “A” boarding group, the flight was pretty full and seats were limited. Shaun grabbed the first aisle seat he saw, and I started to squeeze into the middle seat next to him and another (pretty large) guy. Shaun pointed to an aisle seat a few rows away and said, “There’s another aisle, if you want that”.
I sat down next to two middle aged women, probably in their forties, laughing and having a good time. The first thing the lady in the middle seat said to me was, “I had Jack Daniel’s for breakfast”. Goodie gumdrops.
The two were headed to Corpus Christi to see the “HUGE ZZ Top concert”…. Of corse they were.
The one next to the window, Amy, in the Lynard Skynard shirt, was clearly more wasted than the one in the middle and kept referring to different sexual acts, and pill addiction. Lovey, in the middle, wearing a men’s long sleeve shirt with an embroidered cowboy, kept apologizing for her friends rudeness and continually asked me if we were “there yet”.
I knew I had found myself in a blog-worthy experience so I pulled out the book I have been reading, written by the guy who read all of the Encyclopedia Brittanica’s, and pretended to read and listened to the absurd conversations going on next to me.
“Are you some sort of religious freak?”, Lovey asked.
“What?”
“You’re reading a book. Are you all religious and crap?”
“It’s a book written by a guy that read the Encyclopedias”.
Uninterested and drunk she had already turned away and was talking to her friend again.
Turns out they both work at an oil field trucking company and are headed out to see the ZZ Top concert tonight, and tomorrow are going to Anger Management classes sponsored by their company. The longer the flight, the louder they got and eventually got to the point where the entire plane was turned around looking at our three seats. I turned and looked down the aisle at Shaun,
“Welcome to Texas” I mouthed.
RSS
Hey, welcome to the Great State! I’m wondering about these two: they got on the plane in Houston, so I’d guess they were locals. ZZ Top played the closing night of the Houston Livestock Show less than a week ago - did they not get enough Texas rock then?
Look at it this way: at least you had something interesting to talk about. Good stories make the world seem a lot easier to deal with.
That’s true. I’m glad I had something to blog about, and all you Texans can keep trying to defend these two, but I’m just relaying the facts.
Apparently they were from Midland, in case anyone is wondering.
hahahahahahahahaha………….let me catch my breath ………….hahahahahahahahahahahah wow that hurts hahahahahahahahahahahaha
sorry for your experience dude, sounds like the trip would have been rounded off perfectly if one of your lady friends had vomited on you or tried to make a pass at you………….that would not have been funny though!!
peace
That must’ve been some JD ’cause it rubbed off on your spellcheck! Come back to ND. We’re much cooler here and we no JD for breakfast.
Beth
“Welcome to Texas”
You got that right brother. It’s a little different than that dude ranch you live in called Nashville. Here, the country women could kick the butt of about any Buckle-wearing, fake-twang, tanning-bed “country” singer up there.
I am, in no way, trying to defend these two. Their behavior was reprehensible. But then, I know that Tennessee has it’s share of hicks who sip a little moonshine by morning’s light. And California has its own brand of goofs.
And I bet Seth’s right: they could of beat the tar out of anyone commenting on this blog.
awesome! these type of people, apprently, don’t just exist in movies.
euphrony
i know you aren’t defending them. I just like harassing texans. they get so mad.
i’m pretty sure they could have beat me up.