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"I Have My Own Personal Jesus"

“I have my own personal, Jesus, that I have worked with exclusively for over ten years”

I have no idea what this painting means, but I met the artist a few months ago at a summer festival. This painting was hanging behind him and was about fifteen feet tall and probably ten feet wide. I realized how much I was learning about sinners as I looked at the current state of this “bad guy’s” life in this painting. He is covered in tattoo’s, he drinks alcohol, he smokes cigarettes, he shoots heroine into Jesus, he plays poker, he is about to sniff something, he owns a gun, and he has apparently killed someone and kept their head on his folding table for quite some time. My favorite depiction of the “bad guy” here is of course the nun-chucks hanging on the door. Now that is a sinner. Anyone who readily has nun-chucks hanging on his front door has got to be one tough guy. Not to mention the filthy hand print on the door. Sinners don’t wash their hands either.

A friend I was with asked the painter if he used models when painting the people in his art. The artist leaned arrogantly over the table right into my friends face and said, “I have my own, personal, Jesus, that I have worked with exclusively for ten years.”

“Okay”, and we walked away.

Although, after doing some further research, it appears that Jesus has tattoo’s also. Including this one here, clearly gotten during his time spent in the Navy, in honor of his Father.


14 Responses to
“"I Have My Own Personal Jesus"”

  1. Steven M. Russell

    Who knew Jesus looked so much like Billy Ray Cyrus.

  2. My Katie & Me

    sarcasm dually noted.

  3. Anonymous

    I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

  4. My Katie & Me

    I actually had to change my shirt because I threw up a lot in and out of my mouth.

  5. Anonymous

    I think this might be the “Jesus” that Driscoll was referring to? He looks pretty tough.

  6. Anonymous

    Yep. There he is. Badass Christ.

  7. euphrony

    Looking at the art on his page, I was thinking that his own personal Jesus must be a red-neck Minnesotan. Definitely American, not at all Jewish or even mid-Eastern.

  8. euphrony

    And he drives a semi cross country, delivering bibles and food to homeless people while listening to Willie Nelson and Johnny Cash.

  9. jimmy pop

    to be fair and honest, if jesus was on earth these days,what do you think he would be listening to? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
    yeah…
    johnny cash and willie nelson.

  10. Anonymous

    Nah dooood…Nickelback like driscol.

    (see also, jeremy camp, mac powell)

  11. The Christ Child

    okay guys, enough…Let me set the records straight. Here are my favorite bands: Def Leppard, Van Halen (not Van Hagar), & Skynard. My all time favorite, though, has got to be Casting Crowns, I mean Kutless, I mean Jeremy Camp, I mean Creed, I mean Third Day. Nevermind, I can’t tell which singer is which. They all sound the same to me. And yes, I do have a tat for my Dad, Yahweh, on my arm.

  12. Anonymous

    I resonate with the artist’s vision: Jesus is a ripped Michael W. Smith with hair extensions.

    Brant

  13. euphrony

    For Christmas, I got Downhere’s new album, Wide-Eyed and Mystified, with the song “The Real Jesus”. The lyrics include:

    Jesus on the radio, Jesus on a late night show
    Jesus in a dream, looking all serene
    Jesus on a steeple, Jesus in the Gallup poll
    Jesus has His very own brand of rock and roll

    Watched Him on the silver screen
    Bought the action figurine
    But Jesus is the only name that makes you flinch

    Jesus started something new
    Jesus coined a phrase or two
    Jesus split the line at the turning point of time
    Jesus sparked a controversy
    Jesus, known for His mercy, gave a man his sight
    Jesus isn’t white

    Jesus loves the children, holds the lambs
    Jesus prays a lot
    Jesus has distinguishing marks on His hands

    Just thought these would go well with this post.

    Also, did anyone notice that the above artist sells that Jesus tattoo as a rub-on? $1 for a small and $2.50 for a large tat. Overnight delivery, act now.

  14. Seth Ward

    Bon Jesus

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