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Christians Pray, Bad Guys Cuss

The following is taken from Brant’s far more clever blog. And as it turns out it is real.

“Here are the answers to the questions simmering on your mind:

Does Left Behind: Eternal Forces let you kill people?
Yes. But only in self-defense.

With a tank?
Yes.

But you’re protecting others, so it’s morally good, then.
No, it costs you Spirituality Points. It’s still bad. But sometimes, you have to kill bad guys, but it’s still morally bad, but you should do it sometimes, but it’s morally bad, but sometimes you just have to, you know? But it’s bad.

How can you tell who the bad guys are?
They cuss.

No, seriously.
No, seriously.

What do you mean?
Each character has special traits and abilities. The Christians all have “Pray” under their special ability section. Like, there’s a woman who’s the Worship Leader, and her special abilities are “Pray, Crowd Worship” When you equip her with “music” and “public speaking” training, she gets the ability to “positively rivet the audience nearby.”

Awesome. But she doesn’t cuss.
No. Bad guys have “Swearing” as their special abilities. All of them. For example, non-Christian musicians get special abilties “Swear, Sing” or “Swear, Play”, or — for the Level 3 Rock Star — “Swear, Perform Concert” And she wears a scanty blouse-thing, which should tip you off that she’s fixin’ to swear.

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2 Responses to
“Christians Pray, Bad Guys Cuss”

  1. Anonymous

    i dont even know what to say
    kyle ray

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